


Lessons in Yearning (Wish You Were Here)

by bitsori



Series: Always, More [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, Lots and lots of Pining, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 08:59:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16385126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: “Hi hyung, not sure if you’ve boarded the plane yet, you probably have, huh? Or is your flight delayed? Are you still waiting? Whatever, I just wanted to call and tell you to have a safe flight. I’d say I’ll try to keep the apartment clean while you’re away, but we both know that’s a lie. Anyway. Get to L.A. safely. I love you!”--or: Jisung misses Minho a lot; AU.





	Lessons in Yearning (Wish You Were Here)

**Author's Note:**

> [ 1 ] This is set in the [Always, More](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1140032) universe. It happens after the first three stories, but mostly just references to things established in [Run, Running Ahead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102355) and [Destination: Tomorrow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16242797). It’s recommended that you read those first (especially R,RA because that’s where Minho and Jisung got together) to understand some references and characterization choices in this, but overall, this is a standalone piece of fiction as usual.
> 
> [ 2 ] Writing this honestly exhausted me. I kept having to pause and go back to it (like tbh I started writing this right after I finished the road trip fic), because there is… so much pining in this, and it made even me a lil sad. That said, please stick to the end because there’s always a rainbow after a storm, or something like that, lmao. I hope you enjoy this anyway. ♥
> 
> [ 3 ] Once again, mistakes in grammar/spelling might have been easily missed or overlook, apologies.
> 
> [ 4 ] This doubles as (early) Minho birthday fic, tbh, so! Happy Birthday Lee Know You Know I Love You!

  
  


The apartment isn’t that big - it’s a studio, and the bedroom practically bleeds into the dining area, but Jisung likes it. He _loves_ it, even, mostly because it’s representative of a new chapter in his life, a chapter that he was supposed to start _with_ Minho, instead of _after_ Minho.

Except the so-called start isn’t exactly going according to Jisung’s expectations.

The apartment is a mess, boxes - both packed and unpacked - and luggage are strewn all around the room. Half of it are Jisung’s things, newly moved in, but some of it are Minho’s, because he’s set to embark on a tour that’s going to take him out of Jisung’s life for two - almost _three_ \- months. This is why the younger is just sitting at the foot of their shared bed, pouting as he watches his boyfriend pick and choose outfits to pack and bring with him.

“You think it’ll be colder in the US?” Minho asks, holding two jackets up to show to him.

“Hmmm,” he hums and simply shrugs. One of Minho’s (or maybe Jisung should refer to them as _theirs_ now that he's moved in - he wonders about this every so often) two cats - Soonie, the plumper one, purrs and nuzzles his knee, prompting Jisung to pick her up and cradle her in his lap. Cat aside, Jisung knows that he’s being childish; he’s so proud of Minho and his dance team - they’ve been contracted to be back dancers for a really successful idol group which is obviously quite a big deal. But it also meant tagging along when said idol group goes touring, which in turn meant being apart from his boyfriend for too long periods at a time.

Minho sighs at Jisung’s reaction and proceeds to roll his clothes properly, setting them aside to pack in the same bundle for later. Jisung, for his part, actually wants to be helpful but he can’t help his mood. It was bad enough when Minho had to go on that Japan tour earlier that year, right as spring kicked off, and right after Jisung graduated high school, losing them the precious free time Jisung had before starting university, but this sudden world tour had seemingly come out of left field.

One day, the two of them were discussing Jisung moving into Minho’s one year old apartment, located closer to Seoul City proper, and his new university, and the next Minho was telling him that he had to go on a newly announced tour that was set to start in less than a month. How could Jisung not be even a tad sulky at that?

“Hey,” Minho sighs as he walks over, lowering himself on the floor next to Jisung. “Sorry, I know it's a bit sudden and—” He laughs as he looks around at the mess surrounding them. “I can't even be around to help you unpack.”

 _Then stay,_ Jisung wants to say, but instead he cracks a small smile and lets Soonie free before proceeds to lean his head against Minho’s shoulder. He shouldn't be a brat, and he genuinely wants to wish Minho luck and happiness. He's following his dreams, which is not something a lot of people get the chance to do.

“You want to go home for a bit?” Minho offers as he reaches up to gently card his fingers through Jisung’s hair. “You don't have to stay here and be lonely while I’m away.”

“No,” Jisung answers immediately; he automatically leans in towards Minho’s touch because _that_ feels nice, but the reminder of ‘home’ makes him feel kind of uneasy, so he does what he can to distract from the conversation. “Hyung,” he begins, knocking his knee against Minho’s as he turns to face the older. He puts on a more genuine smile this time, because Minho is so close, and Jisung can easily smell the men’s soap he uses, mixed with Jisung’s own peach-scented shampoo. “You used mine again,” he continues, hand moving up, this time it’s his turn to play a little with the older’s hair.

“I like the smell,” Minho admits. Jisung knows that Minho isn’t this easily distracted, but he’s giving in because he’s allowing Jisung to have his way, and he’s completely fine with that because he’d rather have a nice night with his boyfriend while he still can, rather than rehash old conversations they’ve already had, about topics that he really would prefer not to obsess about right now.

“You like me,” he teases, grinning playfully as he moves his hand to cradle the back of Minho’s head. The latter laughs, and even though he doesn’t answer in the affirmative, it’s enough for Jisung to know he’s right, and more than enough for him to pull Minho closer until their mouths finally meet.

Minho is smiling against Jisung’s lips, which in turn has him chuckling. It doesn’t stop Jisung though - instead he uses the opportunity to quickly deepen the kiss, tongue teasing at first until he feels Minho reacting more, pushing back, and then _he’s_ the one leading and Jisung is just clinging to him tightly, focusing on this moment, _now,_ instead of tomorrow, and the months of separation facing them.

  
  


✲

  
  


_Hello. This Minho’s phone. Minho is either busy or he’s redirecting your call on purpose. Pick your poison and leave a message after the—_ BEEP!

“Hi hyung, not sure if you’ve boarded the plane yet, you probably have, huh? Or is your flight delayed? Are you still waiting? Whatever, I just wanted to call and tell you to have a safe flight. I’d say I’ll try to keep the apartment clean while you’re away, but we both know that’s a lie. Anyway. Get to L.A. safely. I love you!”

  
  


✲

  
  


“Oi, Jisung!”

Woojin smiles as he slides into the chair across Jisung’s. They’re meeting at a cafe on campus; out of all his friends from childhood, (and even though they’re taking different disciplines, with Woojin already on his third year of earning a Bachelor’s degree in Biology, while Jisung is just halfway through his first year of taking Music Composition,) Jisung sees him the most thanks to them attending the same university.

“Hyung!” He perks up happily at the arrival of his friend. Today, he’s feeling far too cheerful about human contact - he’d wallowed in self pity enough when he’d locked himself at home all weekend, that he’s actually _excited_ that the fall term is finally starting.

“Did you manage to enlist in all the classes you needed?” Woojin asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.

“Mhm,” Jisung answers, the corner of his lips turning up cheekily as if he’s remembering some mischief he’s been up to recently. “Went over to Seungmin’s last week and piggybacked on his lightning speed Wi-Fi so I got all the good classes snatched up.”

“You’re a little too chipper,” Woojin observes with amusement as Jisung slides his beverage - which the younger had taken it on himself to order beforehand, he knows what Woojin likes by now anyway - from across the table. “You even got me a drink? Spill. What favor do you want?”

Jisung half whines, half laughs. “Is this what you think of me, hyung?! I can’t be nice just for the sake of it?”

Woojin shrugs and laughs, not really answering him properly. “But you really do look… energized? Maybe Minho shouldn’t be as worried as he sounded?”

Jisung freezes for a moment. “Minho-hyung?”

“What, you think he doesn’t check on you?” Woojin laughs some more. “Or was it supposed to be a secret? Oops.”

Something swells in Jisung’s heart - he isn’t sure if it’s happiness, or more yearning. All he knows is that it feels good, but it also hurts at the same time. “Hyung… tell him he has nothing to worry about,” Jisung assures Woojin, even though at the back of his mind, he thinks that perhaps that isn’t entirely honest.

“Have you gone back home since Minho left for the tour?” The way Woojin asks is quite calculated, and that isn’t lost on Jisung. He doesn’t answer immediately, and he wonders how much of his issues have been discussed with Woojin. He’d be annoyed, but maybe he already expected this - Minho is his best friend, but ever since they started going out, he’s learned to accept that there are some things that Minho finds easier to discuss with the likes of Woojin, or Dahyun, even.

“Of course not,” Jisung answers with a sigh, looking down as he absentmindedly turns his cup around.

He and Minho have been together for almost two years now, but neither of them came out to their parents until earlier that year, right before Jisung was set to start university.

It’s funny - Minho had been the nervous one; he was scared at what his parents would say, at how they would react. Jisung had always been the one to assure him that nothing will change - he practically grew up in the Lee household, and he knew Minho’s parents like his own. He was right, of course, because even though Jisung’s a little slow on the uptake at times, he tends to be right about a lot of things. Minho’s parents, even his father, were genuinely supportive, albeit a little worried - they were well aware that not all ot society would be as accepting. (“Times are changing, at least,” Minho’s mother pointed out, and her positivity is something that Jisung has always admired about her.)

What neither of them expected was the reaction coming from Jisung’s family. It wasn't so bad, really - it's not as if they threw a fit, or disowned him. The problem was in what laid between the lines.

His mother’s smile didn't quite reach her eyes when she told him she was 'happy’ for him, and his father couldn't even look at him directly. His older brother kept quiet, but he barely hid the look of disdain on his face when his eyes passed by Minho. He doesn't know why he expected anything better from them - when he was younger, they regularly attended church, and just because they didn't go as much in his teenage years, it doesn't mean his family's so-called values have changed.

 _They're trying, at least_ , Minho told him before. _They didn't call us disgusting to our faces._ And he knows Minho means well, and that this is why his boyfriend wants him to try harder. Because they're _family._ But being around them just hurts Jisung more - and maybe one day, he'll work on meeting them halfway, but he'd rather not do it while he's already sour about his boyfriend being away.

“Hey—” There’s concern in the way Woojin is looking at him, and it elicits a smile from Jisung. He really doesn’t want anyone worrying about him, but maybe it’s too late. “Let’s get everyone together soon, yeah? Would be fun.”

  
  


✲

  
  


 

**catdadminh0:** miss me a lot?  
**catdadminh0:** kkk i can’t blame u  
**catdadminh0:** texas is super hot  
**catdadminh0:** even hotter now that i’m here ;)

_It’s hotter in here_   ↲  
_because seoul has han jisung_ ↲ _  
_ _kkkk_  ↲

**catdadminh0:** hmmm

_ahhh ur insufferable sometimes!_ ↲ _  
__gimme a little love here hyung_  ↲

**catdadminh0:** insufferable?!?!  
**catdadminh0:** me??  
**catdadminh0:** but u love me

_but i love u (TдT)_ ↲ 

**catdadminh0:** woojin told me everyone came over for a movie night?  
**catdadminh0:** i hope u all cleaned up after yourselves!  
**catdadminh0:** and remember to kiss the cats for me

_no, sorry hyung kkk_ ↲  
_apartment’s an entire mess_ ↲  
_and give me a kiss instead ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶_ ↲

  
  


✲

  
  


Once school actually starts, Jisung knows he should feel busier; his first term had been pretty fun and fast paced, and being the extrovert he is, he’d had a pretty easy time settling and fitting in among his peers.

Maybe that was just beginner's luck or something though, because for some reason, this new term isn’t looking like it’s going to play out the same way.

He keeps falling asleep in his classes, and he keeps having to borrow notes from classmates and acquaintances. Jisung is fully aware that he can do better than simply coast by like this, but he feels so… _unmotivated._

“Have you not been getting enough sleep?” Siyeon asks him in between taking quiet bites from a sandwich she had bought at the university cafe.

She's someone Jisung had met the previous term, and even then she had seemed aloof - like someone who kept to herself. Jisung had easily broken through her wall however, mostly through his own cluelessness and oftentimes inability to read the room.

They're hanging out together because Jisung had completely blanked out during Music Theory 2 and now he's quickly copying her notes during the small time frame that their breaks interlap.

“Well, what’s enough sleep?” He looks up from his notes and flashes Siyeon a sassy grin. His cheek simply earns him an eye roll from her as she chews on her food.

“You’ve been sleeping a lot in class, is all,” she points out. “And sometimes you don’t really seem… _present._ ”

“Oh,” Jisung puts his pen down and flips the notebooks close before returning one of them to his friend. “Well,” he shrugs, not really sure how to answer inquiry. “I guess everything just feels so slow and uninteresting recently.”

Siyeon lifts an eyebrow while she shoves her notebook into her bag. “Jisung, we’re kinda swamped with work - I’d be glad if time felt slower,” she points out contrarily.

“Eh. I kind of want this month to be over, anyway,” he counters. If it was up to him, the next two months (and then some) would be over and done with already, but alas, he can’t control time. “But thank you for being concerned,” he adds, once again flashing an impertinent grin at her. It only incites yet another eye roll from her, but she’s sporting a hint of a smile, and that’s how Jisung knows she actually _does_ care in her own way.

  
  


✲

  
  


“Hey, so, what time is it there again in L.A.?”

Jisung asks this immediately when he calls one night after he gets home. It’s not early - it’s late, even, at 9PM, because he’d been stuck in the library, trying to cram for a paper due the day after. He doesn’t know why his Music Theory professor is sadistic to assign a ten page paper _on the second week of school_ but he’s tired of complaining about this unluckiness too. It’s been a long, tiring day overall, and the first thing that enters his thoughts after he throws himself on the bed is that he wants to hear Minho’s voice. So, without giving it much thought, he pulls his phone out and he places a call.

It’s not until three rings in, that he remembers the existence of time zones; so when Minho finally picks up, he feels a little conscious.

“Hm?” Sure enough, the other man sounds groggy, and not completely there. “It’s—,” there’s a pause, and Jisung assumes it’s because Minho is checking his watch or his phone for the time. “It’s 5AM.”

“Shit,” Jisung mumbles. “Sorry, hyung—”

“It’s okay,” Minho answers, even though he sounds really tired, and Jisung knows it’s really his bad. “We just got in from stage rehearsals around half an hour ago, so you didn’t wake me up or anything. I just finished washing up.”

“No it isn’t okay,” he sighs over the phone. “Sorry, hyung. I’ll be more mindful about the time difference.”

Minho hums softly, and when Jisung hears the soft rustling of sheets, it’s easy to imagine the older as he gets into bed. “Okay it isn’t,” Minho drones on. “So make up for it.”

Jisung sits up, frown lines etched across his forehead because he doesn’t know what he can do. If Minho was there with him, it would be easier, but he isn’t, they’re oceans apart and this phone call isn’t making him feel better like he’d hoped it would.

“Sing for me,” Minho says, his voice soft, almost whiny, even. Jisung finds it cute, and he feels his shoulders relax at the request. It’s not often that his boyfriend is like this, and while he wishes he can appreciate this kind of softness with actual physical proximity, he appreciates it nevertheless. “I want a lullaby,” Minho demands, tired but still insistent.

Jisung is tempted to give him a hard time, but he’s so, _so soft_ , and they’re both clearly exhausted so he starts humming the first song that comes to mind. It’s a new composition he’s been working on, lyrics pending - so he makes them up on the spot.

  
  


✲

  
  


He hasn’t told anyone before, most especially not Minho, because the last thing he wanted was to have his boyfriend needlessly worry, but the truth is that Jisung is struggling with school. Despite having developed the habit of procrastinating on his papers and revisions, he’s doing pretty well in most of his basic, general education classes. That kind of thing comes easier to him than most, his real issue is with his major music courses.

He’s _bored_ with his classes; just the other day his professor had caught him dozing off right in the middle of Introduction to Music History, and if it was high school he’d probably have gotten a shit ton of demerits for it. As it was, all he got out of it was a look of disdain from Professor Jung, and collective snickering from the rest of the class.

The worst part is he hasn’t been able to finish a single composition in months. Even lyrics have been hard to come by, when all of it used to come so naturally to him.

“You need to find new inspiration,” Changbin grunts, as if that’s advice that very easy to follow.

He and Hyunjin are over because Jisung had promised to help Hyunjin with his Korean History homework, and Changbin had tagged along because he’s Changbin and he had declared that he never sees enough of Hyunjin anymore. (And Jisung would have ribbed him, and given him a hard time about it, except he can relate all too well, so he let’s it go with nothing more than a snort and a teasing, mumbled, “Whipped.”)

Somehow, in between Changbin raiding his pantry for something to eat, and Hyunjin pulling his hair out over everything he needs to read to make his paper sound even remotely accurate, Jisung had found it in him to actually allude to his own troubles.

“Okay, because inspiration is something I can pick out and buy at the convenience store next door,” Jisung retorts drily.

Changbin shrugs. “Just saying. If your current muse is out of order, maybe it’s time for a new one.”

Jisung frowns, unsure if he got the metaphors correct. “Hey—,” He starts to argue, in the exact moment that Hyunjin chooses to butt into the conversation. “ _Hyung,”_ he hisses at Changbin. “Don’t be like that.”

Changbin doesn’t say anything, and just picks up after himself, taking his glass and walking over to the kitchen to refill it with something to drink. He’s barely out of earshot considering the size of the apartment, but Hyunjin uses that opportunity to shuffle closer to Jisung.

“Don’t mind him,” he whispers; the smile he wears is both concerned and apologetic. “He’s being snarky, but the truth is he worries about you a lot because Minho-hyung isn’t around.”

Jisung turns his head to follow Changbin’s movement while the latter helps himself the orange juice stored in the fridge. He snickers, when Changbin finds himself in a staring stare off against Doongie, Minho’s second cat who, Jisung has recently learned, has claimed the top of the fridge as his own personal throne.

“What are you little shits looking at?” He asks, when he turns and finds that both Hyunjin and Jisung have their eyes on him.

“Nothing!” Jisung beams at him. “I was just telling Hyunjin that if he works harder at these readings, then I’ll work harder at my music too.”

“Huh.” Changbin plops himself down between Jisung and Hyunjin, and gives the former a square look. “Maybe that’s part of it? You think of it as work now, when before it was all fun for you. Which isn’t to say that you shouldn’t _work hard_ \- but I guess just try to find the fun in it again, you know?”

Jisung pauses, and considers Changbin’s words; he has to admit that there’s sense in what he’s saying. He’s been so preoccupied with taking in every single thing he’s taught in class, and forcing himself to apply it all to his music that it’s become quite frustrating for him.

“Hyung—” Hyunjin pouts, his words cutting through Jisung’s thoughts and forcing him to watch as Hyunjin moves to rest his chin on Changbin’s shoulder. “WIll that advice work on my Korean History homework too?”

Changbin’s only response is to laugh, and to tilt his head towards Hyunjin so he can give him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. It’s cute and all, but this time around Jisung can’t help himself as he pretends to gag. “Euagh,” he spits out. “Get a room, please!”

  
  


✲

  
  


“Jisungiiiiiie!” Minho is sounding pretty cheerful when he calls from Canada, which in turn has Jisung feeling like the heavy weight of that day has been lifted off his shoulders. The last few times he and Minho talked had the latter constantly feeling tired, and even though he was clearly trying his best to entertain Jisung’s ramblings, Minho was mostly quiet on the other end of the line. Jisung knows that Minho is in an especially good mood this time because he chose to place a video call, instead of an audio one. “It’s colder here in Toronto!” He’s whining, but it’s deliberate, an obvious attempt to sound cute for Jisung and he has to admit that it's working.

“So. You’re missing me, aren’t you, hyung?” Jisung’s smile grows wider as he tries to position his tablet so that it’s securely propped up on the table.

There’s a quiet pause, and Jisung’s smile falters a little as he watches Minho’s expression switch to a more neutral one before he answers again. “Eh. So, so,” he says, his shoulder shrug obviously deliberate and calculated.

“YAH!” He cries out immediately in protest, even though he knows Minho too well by now and he knows that he’s just teasing. “How much do you miss me hyung?” He asks, pressing the subject with a small smile dancing on his lips. “ _Tell me, baby.”_

The corner of Minho’s lip twitches like he’s about to laugh, and Jisung grins, smug.

“So anyway—,” Minho continues, his eyes shining impishly as he bulldozes right past Jisung’s demands. “Why has Changbin been bombarding me with messages, asking me how we’re doing?!”

“Oh? He’s what?” Jisung sits up straight in surprise, before the idea settles with him, and he suddenly finds himself laughing. “Guess that’s what Hyunjin meant,” he murmurs quietly, almost only to himself.

“Hyunjin?” Minho, of course, doesn't miss it.

Jisung laughs and gestures dismissively. “I think that’s just Changbin-hyung’s way of showing concern.”

“Concern?” Minho’s expression softens and he tilts his head a bit to the side. “You sure there’s nothing _I_ should be worrying about?”

“No, no, no!” Jisung shakes his head, a little too forcefully. He doesn’t want to burden Minho with the hundred _I miss you’s_ hanging at the tip of his tongue, especially when it’s looking like he’s having a particularly good day. “Tell me everything that’s going on there, instead. Please?”

Minho hums, looking hesitant at first, but Jisung continues to give him an eager, expecting expression and soon enough he gives in, eyes sparkling as he excitedly talks about the sights he’s seen, and all the new people he’s met.

  
  


✲

  
  


Jisung wants to think that it isn’t all bad even without Minho around. Sure, maybe he’s too used to having his boyfriend around - even before they fell in love (like a dramatic cliche in some romance movie that Jisung refuses to admit he watches, but totally enjoys), Minho has always been by his side. Still, it’s not like Jisung doesn’t have other friends.

“You know the cake won’t disappear if you slow down with the stuffing of your face, don’t you, hyung?” He’s at Jeongin’s family’s bakery cafe, and Jeongin looks like he’s trying not to look too judgmental as he watches Jisung scarf down the slice of cheesecake he’d just been served; his attempt isn’t really working all too well because he looks like he’s about a second away from bursting into laughter.

He turns and stares at Jeongin, cheeks looking extra full as he deliberately slows down his chewing. Jeongin winces and shakes his head in disbelief. “Well,” the younger says. “Call me when— oh!” Before he can finish what he’s about to say, the wind chimes at the entrance of the store ring, signalling the arrival of more customers. “Chan-hyung’s here to take care of you, so my job is done,” Jeongin declares with a laugh, giving their older friend a wave before walks over back to the other side of the counter.

Jisung quickly gulps some water down to help push the rest of his food down his throat, before he waves at Chan as well, calling his attention and motioning for him to come over. “You’re paying for everything today, right?” He declares with a cheeky grin, one hand gesturing at the food that’s set in front of him.

Chan laughs as he slides into the chair across Jisung. “I just got here and you’re already—?”

“It’s today’s fee,” Jisung declares. “Because I’m about to third wheel on your date.”

Chan laughs at that, most likely in disbelief. Granted, he was the one who invited Jisung to hang out and meet his new girlfriend, but that’s also because Jisung’s been hounding him for a while to be introduced. “Third wheels get paid now?” He chides with a snort.

“It’s not easy being the odd man out, okay! Especially when my own boyfriend isn’t even around.” Jisung’s only half joking, but he wears a cheeky grin to hide the sting of his own words. “Where’s Jimin-noona anyway?” He asks, looking around, as if that will make Chan’s girlfriend suddenly appear out of thin air.

“She messaged that she’s running late,” Chan explains while giving his phone a quick glance. “So you have me all to yourself for the next half hour or so.”

“Lame,” Jisung comments, stabbing his cake with his fork so he can have another mouthful. “So tell me hyung - is this one prettier than your last girlfriend?” He chortles when Chan gives him a pointed look.

“I don’t know, Jisung,” Chan comments evenly. “You’ve seen her pictures, you tell me.”

Jisung just laughs; he doesn’t tell Chan that their entire friend group have secretly agreed that his last girlfriend was way prettier. “Hyung, what matters is that you really like this one, and that you get along really well.”

Chan snorts. “Why are you talking like you’re so knowledgeable about this?!” He shakes his head fondly, and picks up a spare fork that Jeongin has left on the table, so that he can attempt to reach over and take a bite-sized piece from Jisung’s cake. The younger is too fast for him, however, in moving the plate away so it’s out of reach. Chan easily gives up with an exasperated sigh. “You’re really making me pay but you won’t even let me have a bite?!”

Jisung snickers; he pushes the cake forward to share, but at the same time he calls Jeongin’s attention so they can order more pastries. It’s not until Jeongin has served them with coffee and more slices of cake (triple chocolate for Jisung, and carrot cake for Chan) that Chan finally tries to turn the tables on Jisung.

“So—,” Chan begins, as he stirs his coffee after adding creamer and sugar. “Minho’s been doing well, huh?”

“Hmm?” Jisung is surprised at the sudden change in topic, but still, he lights up automatically at the mention of his boyfriend, smiling and nodding proudly. “He seems to be!”

“He worries about you, you know,” Chan continues calmly; he only winces when he takes a sip of his coffee and it seems to be a bit too hot still.

Jisung’s bright exterior briefly falters. “He told you this, hyung?”

“He just wonders how you’re being - he says you always seem far too cheerful when you talk,” Chan explains.

“Well— I’m always happy when we talk.”

“I think he wonders anyway. He wonders how you’re doing a lot - I think a part of him feels bad for leaving when you’re going through a lot of changes.”

“He told you this?” Jisung frowns; he doesn’t know how to feel about this. On one hand, he feels strangely happy that Minho keeps worrying about him - it makes him feel loved, and thought of. On the other, he genuinely doesn’t want Minho to have any worries while he’s on tour.

“He—” Chan laughs and ducks his head, looking a bit sheepish. “He told Woojin, actually. And Woojin told me.”

Jisung looks down, a bittersweet smile forming on his face as he pushes cake crumbs around his plate. Suddenly, the treats taste too sweet and he doesn’t want any more. “I wish he’d tell me, though.”

“Hmm.” Chan tilts his head to one side, as if he can study Jisung better that way. “But are _you_ telling him everything _you’re_ feeling, though?”

It’s food for thought, but Jisung already knows the answer. He feels guilt stirring at the pit of his stomach, but before the conversation can continue, the chimes sound again, and Chan is getting up with a wide smile as he greets his girlfriend.

  
  


✲

  
  


Jisung remembers to check first - 8 in the morning in his time is around 7 in the evening in New York, so he figures it should be fine to give Minho a call. He even sets his alarm to wake him up early - its a bit of a chore, waking up so early on a Saturday morning, but he figures starting the weekend off by seeing his boyfriend’s face would make it worth it.

He picks up one of the cats - Doongie this time, just because she’s closer - and he cuddles with her while he waits for Minho to answer his video call.

“Ah, Jisungie?” He’s smiling when his face appears on Jisung’s tablet screen, and he was definitely right - waking up early for this is worth it.

“Hyung—!” He greets, smiling widely as he holds up the cat in his arms. “Say hi to your Dad, Doongie,” he coos, only to be met with laughter from the other side.

“Where’s the other one?” Minho asks. “Ah, wait—” Before Jisung can answer, he hears faint voices in the background, calling Minho’s name.

“Hyung?” A small frown appears on his face, and he puts the cat down so he can grab a hold of the tablet properly, squinting at it to try and see who Minho is having a quick, hushed discussion with. He laughs in the background, and Jisung can’t help the way his heart sinks to his stomach. It’s petty, but he kind of hates that someone else is making Minho laugh like that, when he’s seven thousand miles away and unable to do the same.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Minho apologizes when he returns his focus to Jisung. He’s still smiling, and Jisung is thankful for that, at least.

“It’s okay—,” he begins, only to be cut off.

“Sorry, we’re kind of in a hurry. We’re getting Shake Shack for dinner,” he explains, all bright and excited. It brings Jisung back to a time when the first Shake Shack branch opened in Seoul, and the two of them had queued in line for hours, just to end up splitting a burger to save money.

“Was that Taeyang-ssi?” He finds himself asking, as he continues to peer closely at the screen in an attempt to identify the people behind Minho.

“Oh, yeah— I’m going out with him and some others.” Minho pauses and gives Jisung a Look, before he laughs some more. “You jealous, Jisungie?”

“WHAAAAAAT!” Jisung is a little too defensive when he forces out laughter. He knows there’s no reason for jealousy - sure, Minho and Taeyang went on a date once, and sure that happened during a time when Jisung thought he’d lost Minho completely, but he knows perfectly well that there’s a reason why it hadn’t worked out between them. _It’s you,_ Minho had said simply, when he’d recounted The Tale of The One Failed Date. _Because I knew I only wanted to be with you_ , he’d told Jisung, and it’s these words that Jisung conjures up now in an attempt to make his smile feel more genuine. “No,” he denies, quick and vehement. “No way!”

Minho laughs, but for a split second, Jisung can sense the worry in his gaze. But then the screen momentarily freezes, and it disappears. “Okay, okay,” Minho says; he’s back to sounding hurried now, and his smile looks a bit regretful. “I’ll try to call when we get back, okay?”

Jisung holds back a sigh, and once again plasters a supportive smile on his face. “Okay, hyung.”

  
  


✲

  
  


Despite the fact that it's been weeks - a little over a month, even, that Minho's been gone, Jisung still hasn't really finished the task of unpacking properly.

Boxes are still strewn around, and it's even more of a mess because instead of transferring the contents of his suitcases to the closet space Minho had especially set aside for him before he left, Jisung had lazily just been snagging clothes straight of his luggage.

Come to think of it, he surmises that it's also time to go do laundry again - something he hasn't done either after his first week of moving in, so to add to everything else, his dirty clothes are also scattered everywhere, especially with the laundry hamper already overflowing.

Soonie, bless her sweet soul, chooses that moment to nuzzle against his ankles. “I know,” he murmurs, leaning down so he can pick the little feline up in his arms. “Minho-hyung wouldn't approve of his mess, huh?” He chuckles softly, amused because the way Soonie purrs and meows in response truly makes it seem like the cat is engaging in actual conversation. “If you're as smart as hyung says you are, then shouldn't you also be able to help me clean up?” He pouts as he holds the cat high up in the air until they're eye to eye; and then he sighs as he bends over to release Soonie from his hold.

“Okay,” he mutters to himself, rolling his sleeves up and looking around the apartment. _It’s time._

He spends most of the morning unpacking and moving things around; it turns out he doesn’t really have that much to unpack left  as most of his clothes get shoved into laundry bags instead - and he really needs to get on that, because he’s down to his last pair of underwear, but the nearest laundromat is about a ten minute walk away and he’s _exhausted_ , so he just makes a mental note to take care of it the next day.

He’s just finished vacuuming the entire apartment (and he feels so Proud that he’s managed to accomplish as much), and he’s just shoving a box of random knick knacks into the back of the closet when he accidentally knocks over another box, that’s apparently also wedged in there, in the process.

It’s an old shoebox, and it falls on it’s side, on the floor, with an appropriate thud that doesn’t really betray its contents; he gets curious though, and after he properly rearranges everything else in the closet to make room for his things, he sits on the floor and he takes a look inside it.

He immediately squawks in delight at what he finds - it’s not much, really, but inside is a plethora of items that induce nothing but nostalgia. There are some jewel cases with homemade compact discs in them and Jisung identifies them as some old demos they’d recorded during the early days of their former band, and he makes a mental note to try and find some kind of CD drive so he can listen to them. There are some tab sheets and bass chord guides that Jisung remembers excitedly printing for him after he managed to make him agree to be the bassist. There are also a few crumpled pieces of paper that are most obviously torn out of notebooks, with Jisung’s chicken scratch scribbles on them - notes he’d passed along to Minho way back in junior high. The pictures, though, plant the biggest smile on Jisung’s lips - he finds a yellowing print of a picture taken from when they were children, back in the old playground they used to play at. He was flanked on either side by Minho and Hyunjin, both of them holding his hands, while Seungmin and Changbin were crouched in front of them - he assumes Minho’s mother took this one. He flips through the photographs with sentimental glee, his smile growing as they illustrate the casual evolution of their little friend group. It started out with just the five of them, but as they grow older in the pictures they’re slowly joined by the others. Woojin and Chan in grade school after Minho met and befriended them, and then in high school with Felix, and then eventually Jeongin.

He doesn't know why he’s so surprised at this find; perhaps it's because, for as long as he's known Minho, he's never actually struck Jisung to be the sentimental type - that’s more Jisung's thing, really. Minho is always teasing him about how scared of change he gets, and how he likes to cling to the past, but here is an entire box that’s proving Minho to be as much of a sap as he is.

Laughing, he rummages through the box, flipping through the photograph prints until he finds one that makes him feel a sort of pleasant warmth. It’s a polaroid from so long ago - Jisung still remembers the day clearly. He was only fifteen at the time, and it was the day of the school festival. He had a guitar cradled in his arms because they’d performed in front of the whole school earlier that afternoon, and their entire friend group was hanging out together in celebration. Jisung was dramatically playing and singing, or more like _fake screaming_ as he playfully mocked Changbin’s performance. It showed in the picture, his face exaggeratedly contorted, mouth opened dramatically wide. If you focus only on Jisung, it’s a ridiculously hilarious picture, which is perhaps why Seungmin even tried catching the stupid moment in the first place.

Now that he’s older though, Jisung notices different things. The only other person in the frame is Minho - it’s only half of him that’s visible, even, but he’s looking at Jisung, the corners of his lips turned up prettily in a smile, and the expression he has on is so _fond_ and Jisung can’t believe that it took so long for Minho’s feelings to reach him when it was this obvious so early on.

It’s this picture that he chooses to pin up on the door of the fridge, right next to the calendar that was counting down the days to Minho’s return home.

  
  


✲

  
  


It’s Felix’s face that fills up Jisung’s screen the next time he answers a video call from Minho - or at least he thinks it was Minho’s name he saw on the screen before he’d accepted it, so he’s confused. He taps the screen once to check for the username, but then Felix holds the camera away and Minho suddenly jumps into the frame from behind.

“Jisungie!” Minho greets, arms wrapping around Felix from behind while he rests his chin on Felix’s shoulder.

There’s a small part of Jisung that’s jealous of the affection and the physical proximity the two have, but the feeling quickly and easily gives way to the extreme happiness he feels at seeing two of his favorite people. He misses them both so much, that seeing them together, all smiles, even if it’s only over the phone, feels really nice.

“Hyung! Lix!” He’s practically vibrating with excitement. He knew Felix and Minho were going to meet up once the tour hit Australia, but somehow it never occurred to him that they’d call him like this.

“Happy early birthday, mate!” Felix greets, hand waving animatedly. “Hyung got me and a friend backstage passes to tomorrow’s concert, damn! Hyung’s connected now!”

Minho’s laughter echoes through his phone’s speakers; no doubt he’s amused by Felix’s excitement because that’s almost the exact same laugh he has when Jisung does the same. “Happy early birthday to you too, bro,” Jisung returns, grinning.

“I’m coming home with Felix tonight,” Minho interjects, and Jisung is initially puzzled by what he means.

“Home? Here? You’re flying back to Seoul tonight?” He gets really, really excited even though that understanding doesn’t really sound right.

A flash of guilt passes Minho’s expression. “A-ah, no, Jisungie, sorry,” his smile looks more sheepish now, and disappointment sinks in Jisung’s heart. “I’m meeting Felix’s parents tonight, and they’re feeding me dinner before I have to go back for stage rehearsal.”

“Ahhhh.” Jisung smiles, and nods. That jealousy from earlier is making itself known and felt again. “Wish I could be there, too, I want to eat Felix’s mom’s cooking!”

“Wish you could be, too, Jisungie,” Minho says, as Felix completely passes hold of the phone to him.

“Hey mate, I’ll message you later— Eric’s trying to get my attention so I can help him carry all the stuff he bought at the vending machine.” Both Felix and Minho, turn and look to their side before bursting into synchronized laughter. _Wish I was there,_ Jisung once again thinks, but he smiles and patiently waits until he gets their attention again.

Felix is out of the frame within the next second, and then it’s just him and Minho who is giving him a soft smile that Jisung likes to think is reserved just for him.

“Hi, hyung. Do you have to go, too?” He asks, trying to keep his tone even so that he doesn’t sound petty and upset.

“I have a minute more just for you,” Minho replies, and Jisung holds back from snapping that there’s no way a minute is enough. “You doing good there, though, right?”

“Hmmm,” he hums, smiling and nodding. His thoughts are once again filled with _I miss you so much_ and other similar phrases, but they all get stuck at the tip of his tongue when he tries to voice them out.

“I miss you, Jisungie.” Minho’s voice is quiet and gentle when he says it first anyway. “Next time, let’s visit Felix just for fun, yeah? “

“Let’s make a trip of it,” Jisung answers, actually getting somewhat excited at the idea. “Let’s bring everyone else, and do it like we promised Felix we would.”

Minho laughs and nods in agreement. “Hey Jisungie—,” his breath hitches, and he sounds almost hoarse when he continues. “I love you.”

“I love you too, hyung,” Jisung responds; he counts in his head the number of days left before Minho is back home and the number is still a lot higher than Jisung would prefer, but for now he allows the affection from Minho’s words wash over him.

  
  


✲

  
  


“Did you really just come here to mooch off my internet?” Seungmin asks drily, staring at Jisung who had set himself up on Seungmin’s bed, laptop in front of him as he constantly refreshes his browser to check for his midterm grades.

“Your internet is very fast,” Jisung answers, not giving his friend even a quick glance as he keeps his eyes glued to the screen.

“It’s not like you need fast internet to _check your grades_ ,” Seungmin groans and shakes his head as he watches Jisung from his desk. “They’re not going to change no matter how many times you hit F5.”

“Sshh!” Jisung reprimands him. “They’re out!”

“Did you just shush—” Seungmin appears mildly offended, but Jisung is completely focused on his computer still that he can only sigh before he moves, joins the latter on the bed and nosily peers on the laptop screen. “That’s not bad, you got good marks for most of your exams,” he says, patting Jisung on the back; and then he points out something. “You didn’t submit anything for Composition?”

Jisung hums. “As long as I submit a finished product at the end of the term I should be good,” he mumbles with a hand wave, not really wanting to reiterate on it.

Seungmin doesn’t look convinced, but Jisung is thankful when he doesn’t press. He flips the lid of his laptop shut, and then he turns to Seungmin with a big grin. “Anyway, I didn’t just come here to mooch off your internet,” he declares, the sudden change in his demeanor easily lightening up the atmosphere. “I’m here to celebrate! It’s my birthday tomorrow, and then yours is coming soon and—”

He’s interrupted by Seungmin’s laughter, but it isn’t mocking or derisive, so Jisung figures his friend is actually pleased, which makes him feel proud. “Come on,” he says, lightly punching Seungmin on the arm. “Let’s get cake, and then we can call Felix.”

“And Minho-hyung, too?” Seungmin teases, giving him a playful nudge on the side.

Jisung snorts, but he shakes his head. The mention of the older just reminds him that once again he isn’t going to be able to celebrate with Minho this year; two years ago was the first time inall the time they've known each other that Jisung hadn't celebrated his birthday with Minho, and that alone had been a disappointment, but at least that period of estrangement between the two of them had given them both enough time to figure their feelings out for each other. Meanwhile, the previous yearhad been a near miss, with Minho only being around for the first couple of hours of his birthday, because he had to work on a few things for school. He thought this year, with everything going well between the two of them, it would be like before, when birthdays were spent with all of his friends, but it’s not. It isn’t even just Minho, everyone is so busy with their own lives, that it has been hard to find common free time to celebrate. More than that, Felix isn’t even in the country either and the last three years have spoiled Jisung with joint birthday parties. Now, his birthday is just serving as another reminder of how much life has been rapidly changing over the last year.

“Come on, you miss him, don’t you?”

He pauses; missing Minho is a feeling that’s been consuming him for the last several weeks, eating away at him continuously while he tries his best to keep it in, to be strong despite it. “Isn’t it a given that I do?”

“Of course it is,” Seungmin agrees. “And it’s perfectly normal to admit to it. Just because you don’t say it out loud, it doesn’t mean you stop missing him.”

Jisung winces. “What do you mean?”

He’s met with an eye roll and a snort. “You don’t think your friends talk?” Seungmin asks. “Everyone’s noticed that you never really say you miss him - you just _always_ talk about how well he’s doing over there, and how proud you are of him. You never talk about how you’re feeling with him away, and—,” Seungmin laughs, “—that’s silly, because you’ve always been pretty transparent to all of us.”

Jisung groans, and he allows his head to fall sideways to rest on Seungmin’s shoulder. “I just don’t want to be that kind of guy but—,” He takes a deep breath, “I miss him so damn much.”

“ _Well that’s a given isn’t it?”_ Seungmin asks, chuckling as he throws Jisung’s own words back at him. “Pretty sure hyung misses you as much, if not more. I mean, the two of you are so alike in so many ways, how can he not? But he’ll be home soon enough, and everything will be good again.”

“I guess,”Jisung half-heartedly agrees. He pauses for a few seconds before letting out another sigh. “Guess it’s just harder that he has to be away _now,_  because everything feels like it’s changing in my life, you know? And it isn’t like my life is _falling apart,_ but it doesn’t exactly feel like it’s well-stitched at the seams either.”

“You’re strong, Jisung,” Seungmin tells him, his tone uncharacteristically gentle - at least Jisung isn’t used to Seungmin having this kind of attitude with him, and he finds himself smiling with appreciation. “You’ll be fine because you’re going to work this out yourself.”

“Thank you, Seungminnie,” Jisung declares, straightening up as a wide grin settles on his features. “I could kiss you right now - you’re never this nice to me!”

Seungmin winces, and immediately leans away. “Please don’t,” he says; he makes a show of wrinkling his nose, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Come on, let’s go and get that cake.”

  
  


✲

  
  


_YO! Jisung here. Leave me some love and praise if you want me to get back to you ASAP! (laughs)_ BEEP!

“Hi, Jisungie! We already video called earlier, and you’re probably asleep right now - as you should be! - but we got a short break from rehearsal so I wanted to call you again and wish you a happy birthday. I can’t believe it’s the third year in a row that I can’t be with you on your birthday - last year I told myself I’d prepare seaweed soup for you this year, but sometimes plans just fall through. London is cold and dreary, and I really wish you were here to brighten it up. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I hope you have a good day, anyway. Chan promised he’ll make today good, and I’m trusting him to pull through with that. Don’t get TOO drunk without me, but I know our friends will be there to help you out when you inevitably start puking your guts out in the middle of the night. Hyung loves you— and misses you like hell.”

  
  


✲

  
  


Mideumi’s familiar barking is the first thing that greets Jisung when he sets foot in his family home for the first time in months. It’s not like he lives so far away from home - he only had to switch buses _once_ to get home, but even now he’s a bit apprehensive. It’s Chuseok though, and it just felt incredibly petty to not show his face to his parents.

“Mideumi!” He hears his mother’s scolding voice coming from the kitchen of his family’s three bedroom apartment, and Jisung laughs as he crouches down and allows the canine to lick his face all over. “Oh, Jisung-ah!” His mother appears by the doorway, looking incredibly surprised.

“Hey, ma,” Jisung greets, a little awkward because his mother’s lips have slowly curved into a happy, relieved smile and now he feels guilty for having deprived his mother of his company for so long. He walks over to kiss his mother on the cheek, only to be enveloped in a warm, loving hug instead.

“Oh, it’s you.” A cold voice cuts through the moment, and Jisung pulls away to find his older brother standing by the kitchen doorway, looking at him with an indefinable stare. It reminds him of the last time he’d seen him, but it isn’t a particularly nice memory so he tries to shake it off.

“Hey, hyung,” he greets with a cautious smile, but all he gets is a stiff nod in response.

“Don’t mind him,” His mother says with a sigh, right before she squeezes him in another hug. “I’m happy you’re here.”

“Where’s Dad?” Jisung asks.

“Oh, he went out with—” Before she can finish answering, Jisung hears the door unlock from the outside, and when he turns, there he his father is, coming home with bags of groceries, his cousin, Younghyun, in tow. It makes sense that he's spending the holidays with them because Younghyun's parents had migrated to Canada around three years ago, while he had stayed to continue his pursuit of his dreams in music. He’s one of the lucky ones to have things work out for him in that industry, and Jisung never stops being proud that he's family.

“Hyung!” Jisung’s greeting is far more enthused this time, at least until he turns back to his father and he forces himself to sound more subdued. “Dad,” he adds with a nod.

“Son,” his father answers with a nod of acknowledgment. His eyes don’t feel as cold as they did the last time Jisung had seen him, at least, so he’s thankful for _that_ at least. He walks past Jisung, straight to the kitchen, while Younghyun moves to welcome him with a grin, and another hug.

“I gotta help put these away,” Younghyun tells him, holding up the bag of groceries that _he’s_ carrying. “Then we can catch up.”

“I’ll be in my old room,” he says with a nod, before turning to his mom with a questioning look. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” she answers. “It’s the exact same way it was when you left.”

She wasn’t kidding - it’s as messy as he’d left it, except that if one opened his closet and dressers, they’d discover that they’re all near empty. He throws himself onto his bed, and as he rolls around on it, he realises how much he misses the bed he’s had for almost all of his life.

In the corner, right next to his old desk, he spots his first guitar; he’d left it behind when he moved out because Minho had gifted him with a new one last Christmas. He gets off his bed and doesn’t waste time in unzipping the old guitar case so he can take out the stringed instrument and cradle it in his arms.

He tries to play it, only to cringe when he realises it’s out of tune. He’s in the middle of tweaking the knobs when there’s a knock on the door and he looks up to find Younghyun peeking in.

“Hey, kid,” he says, and if it was anyone else, Jisung would have pouted and whined, but he’s long allowed his favorite cousin this privilege so instead he beams widely.

“Hey, hyung,” he greets, gesturing at his old study chair to show that Younghyun can take that seat if he wants.

“Write any new songs recently?” Younghyun asks, and even though he’s years older than Jisung, there’s still something childlike about the way he immediately starts spinning in the chair, and it makes Jisung feel closer to him.

“Hmm,” he hums, and absentmindedly strums the guitar strings to check if it’s now in the right key he usually plays it with. “Honestly? I’ve been a bit blocked recently, but—,” he smiles and plucks the strings. “There’s actually a melody that I’ve been hearing in my head recently? It’s just been hard to lay it down properly. Lyrics aren’t coming to me easily, either.”

“Let’s hear it then,” Younghyun says while gesturing at the guitar. It makes Jisung hesitate - he respects Younghyun so much as a musician, especially since he was a big influence of why he even started playing guitar. But music is something that Younghyun has actually managed to make a successful career out of, and now Jisung feels shy about letting him hear a song that he hasn’t even fully figured out himself. “Come on,” Younghyun presses, and the smile he gives Jisung is apparently enough encouragement.

He nods, and carefully presses the strings against the fretboard, fingers spaced appropriately on the right tones. “Hyung, don’t laugh, okay?” He chuckles shyly, looking up quickly at Younghyun before glancing down and finally beginning to strum. The melody is quite disjointed at first, and he keeps shaking his head and pausing to remember the music that’s playing in his head, but soon it starts to come to him easily, and he ends up mumbling a few lines of lyrics that come to him on the fly,  while he plays for the next minute or so.

“Well, that’s it,” He grips the guitar’s neck as he looks up, waiting for his cousin’s reaction.

Younghyun is softly humming, and Jisung beams when he realises that the melody has already stuck with him. “It sounds a little— sad?” Younghyun shakes his head. “No, not exactly, but it’s… there’s some longing in that melody. But there’s a bit at the end that makes it also kind of hopeful. It’s beautiful, Jisungie.”

“Thank you, hyung.” Younghyun doesn’t have to say much, really, anything he gives Jisung makes him feel proud. Besides, he appreciates that the feelings conveyed, even from just the melody, are exactly what he’s been feeling as of late.

“So, you been doing good then?” Younghyun asks, and his smile and tone are both pleasant enough but his words make Jisung groan.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?!” He whines as he lays his guitar down on the bed next to him. “I’m doing fine.”

“Things here seem tense,” Younghyun points out, not mincing his words.

This time Jisung can only heave a sigh. “I guess they are? I can’t help but feel a disconnect with them. Like I’m not really wanted here.”

“Your mom seems pretty stoked to have you here,” Younghyun points out as he walks over to pick Jisung’s guitar up.

“I—” Jisung smiles, because he has to admit, his mother’s welcome had felt genuine and heartfelt. “That’s true.”

“And your dad, well,” Younghyun chuckles and shakes his head. “He just doesn’t know what to say to you. He’s kind of… beside himself, trying to figure out how to talk to you, and you know how I know that?” He pauses and gives Jisung a pointed look, to which the latter just responds with a shrug. “He actually talked to me, and asked for _my_ advice.” Younghyun laughs, and Jisung looks confused.

“He did?”

“I kind of asked what time you were getting in for the holidays, and he just—” Younghyun laughs again, like he’s recalling a funny but fond memory. “I’m not sure I should even be telling you this, but he said he felt like he reacted badly when you came out to them, and that he had a feeling it was his fault that you haven’t been home in a while.”

Jisung finds himself almost choking up. His father has never been the warmest when he was growing up; he was the typical Korean father - strong, stoic and silent, and even though he had always done right by his family, Jisung never knew how to read him. “Are you for real, hyung?” He frowns. “He really—?”

Younghyun chuckles. “I know, I was surprised too. I think he was _that_ desperate to understand you, and I was just there, asking questions at the right time. I don’t think he really gets it, and I’m sure he’ll end up saying some stupidly ignorant shit down the line, but I’m sure he’s truly _trying,_ in his own way. He’s willing to understand.”

Jisung nods slowly as he takes in Younghyun’s words. He realises now that maybe he’d been too quick to close off after he didn’t get a better reception to his coming out, and that maybe he should cut his parents some slack - after all, they’re the ones who raised him and did nothing but right by him for all nineteen years of his existence.

“I think—,” he sighs, as another memory passes through his thoughts. “I don’t think it’s the same case with hyung.” Jisung’s brow knots together; before today, the last time he’d seen his brother had them exchanging less than encouraging words. “You know he said that he _knew_ he shouldn’t have let me play with Minho when we were kids - I was _five_ , geez,” Jisung winces at the recollection. “And then he called Minho a—” He sighs and stops, not really wanting to repeat the filth he still can’t believe he heard from his own brother. “Whatever,” he mumbles. “He keeps blaming Minho-hyung for how I ‘turned out’, and I don’t know which is worse - that he doesn’t think I’m my own person who has my own feelings, and can make my own decisions, or that he’s turned out to be _this_ narrow-minded.”

Younghyun’s expression has turned more grim, and he reaches out to give Jisung a supportive squeeze on his shoulder. “Didn’t expect such intolerance from him, but—” He sighs. “Some people take longer to come around, you know?”

“And some people never do,” Jisung whispers shakily.

“And those people are never a loss,” Younghyun says confidently.

It’s hard to fathom the idea of forever being estranged with his brother for the rest of his life, so Jisung wants to believe he’s the type to eventually get there. “Thanks, hyung,” he says, smiling as he tries to remain positive. “Thanks for the talk, I think I needed to let that out,” he adds, and he really means it.

  
  


✲

  
  


“I’m so ready to come home,” Minho sighs through the phone.

They had foregone the video this time around, and they’re just talking on the phone through audio. Jisung figures it might be better like this, because even though he wants to see Minho’s face, it’s also too early at 6 in the morning and he looks (and _feels)_ like death. It doesn’t help that he’s barely gotten any shuteye the last few nights, and even though Minho would probably be proud at how much work he’s been able to accomplish in that time thanks to the fact that after the holidays, his creativity has come crashing down on him full force, he knows he’d likely also end up getting a scolding about getting an appropriate amount of sleep. Minho shouldn’t really be one to talk considering the hours he keeps, but it never stops him from fussing over Jisung anyway.

“Berlin isn’t nice?” Jisung asks sleepily, as he curls up next to a pillow that still faintly smells like Minho.

“It’s alright,” Minho answers. “We had German sausages for dinner, and I’m super full but—,” he sighs, “I guess I’m homesick. I want to see your idiotic face, and not through a screen.”

Jisung chuckles hoarsely; just from his boyfriend’s voice, he can tell that Minho is in a less than stellar mood. He’s still being so careful and affectionate with his words though, which makes Jisung feel all warm. Minho has been more and more open with his _I miss you’s_ , and _I love you’s_ , and it’s almost funny because even though Minho had been the first one to confess between the two of them, Jisung has always been the one more verbal with his affection.

“You’ve been extra sweet these days, Hyung,” Jisung teases. “Something about the air abroad, huh?”

“Or maybe there’s something about the water back home that prevents affection,” Minho deadpans. There's a pregnant moment of silence before he adds, “You haven’t told me you miss me even once, Jisung.”

“Hyung—” Jisung sits up, suddenly feeling more awake than he was just a minute ago. He didn’t really think Minho had noticed.

“Never mind,” Minho says before Jisung can react more. “I know you miss me, but sometimes it’d be nice to actually hear, you know?”

“Hyung,” he starts again. He feels guilt, and a little of something else that he can’t describe.

“It’s okay,” Minho cuts him off again, and it’s like Jisung can _hear_ the pained smile he’s wearing even though that’s obviously not possible. “I have to go anyway - they’re calling us for a last stage rehearsal before we turn in for the night. Have a good day, Jisungie.”

  
  


✲

  
  


“Hello!”

It’s not exactly that early (he had checked the clock, and the display had told him it was almost noon), but Jisung has just gotten out of bed when he rushes over to open the door, only to be met face to face with Dahyun’s bounciness. He certainly looks it too, with his hair sticking out all over, and his eyes barely open - his appearance is a stark contrast to Dahyun’s bright and colorful countenance.

“Noona?” He blinks and rubs his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Minho didn’t tell you?” She walks right past him to enter the apartment, but Jisung doesn’t mind. He kind of likes her, even though she will always be more of Minho’s friend than his. “Did I wake you? Sorry,” Her smile doesn’t waver despite the apology, and she reaches over, easy laughter trickling out of her throat as she tries to help pat Jisung’s hair down. “Anyway— Minho didn’t tell you I was coming over?” She holds up a tote bag as if that’s supposed to mean something to Jisung even though he has no idea what is inside them. “He usually taste tests for me when I make attempts at baking, but he isn’t here now, so the last time we talked, he volunteered you.”

“ _Oh.”_

“So, go—” Dahyun grabs one of his shoulders with her free hand, and makes her turn around. “Go and wash your face and get all decent so we can get on with the eating because I brought lunch, too!!” She laughs and looks around the apartment. “You know, it looks neater here than Minho made me think it would be.”

Jisung chortles because her words make it sound like she’d been sent to spy on him, and he almost makes a comment about it. But Dahyun is already unloading what looks like a feast, and Jisung could feel his stomach rumbling so instead he follows her instructions and disappears into the bathroom to make himself look presentable.

It doesn’t take longer than half an hour before they’re seated across each other at the small dining table, and Jisung is practically drooling at the food that’s laid out in front of him.

“Did you make all of these, noona?” He asks as he excitedly reaches for a piece of braised pork.

“No—,” Dahyun laughs; she’s piled her own bowl with rice and some meat in a way that makes her look as starved as Jisung feels. “And you should probably be thankful I didn’t because I’m not sure you want to be subjected to my cooking.”

“I thought I was taste testing—?” He asks right before he stuffs his mouth with a massive spoonful of rice.

“That’s dessert,” Dahyun explains, and then as she chews on her own mouthful of rice, she proceeds to place a small tin in front of Jisung. “Brownies,” she explains, taking the lid off so she can show him the contents. Immediately, Jisung understands what she meant by subjecting him to her cooking because the supposed treats she’s presenting him with don’t exactly look the best. They’re awkwardly cut into different sized squares, and some of them look to be a bit burnt in the edges, and he can’t help but let out a little cackle at the sight.

“Don’t laugh!” Dahyun demands with a light kick to his shins under the table. She’s obviously holding her own laughter back though, which tells Jisung that he at least didn’t hurt any real feelings. “They taste better than they look, I swear! Or, well, I think. I hope?”

“Well, as long as they’re edible, noona - don’t kill me with food, okay?”

Dahyun sticks her tongue out at him, and Jisung cackles even more. She’s really easy to be around, and he realises that this natural rapport between the two of them is why Minho was always telling him the two of them would get along pretty well, given some time together. (“Which is why,” Minho had teased, “I refuse to let that happen - the two of you together would make my life harder than it already is!”)

“Hey, Jisung—” Once their mixed twittering calms down, Dahyun speaks up again, this time calmer. She points at her ear, and then at Jisung’s, which causes him to reach up and touch the lobe himself. “That earring,” she explains, and Jisung immediately knows she means the small silver cross because it’s the only piece of accessory that he keeps on even when he sleeps. “I was with Minho when he bought it,” she explains with a sly smile.

“Oh!” Jisung chuckles, and he feels a blush spread across his cheeks. Even though he doesn’t have reason to be, he’s a bit embarrassed that she knows it’s a gift from his boyfriend.

“He was so determined to find something for the two of you to share, I think at one point I was convinced he was going to end up buying the two of you couple rings.” Dahyun is laughing as he recounts the memory, but it just makes Jisung blush a deeper shade of red. “But then we came across this one stall, and they had pretty accessories, and once he spotted those, he immediately bought it. I told him I didn’t get it, because he only bought one pair, instead of two.”

“Ah, hyung and I—” Jisung speaks slowly, trying not to sound like a giddy little girl in love. “We had our first piercings together,” he explains, pointing at his ear again. “It was this one, so in a lot of ways, it’s something that matches between us.”

“That’s so cute!” Dahyun squeaks and her fingers curl with glee. “Minho’s so grossly in love with you, you know?”

“Hyung says that…?”

“No, not in those words,” Dahyun shakes her head, laughing. “But he doesn’t have to. It’s easy to see every time he even mentions you. Pretty sure he misses you a lot because every time we talk or message, he's always talking about you when all I ever ask about are the cities he’s off seeing.”

“Oh.” Jisung purses his lips - a vain attempt to stop the smile that soon forms anyway. _“Oh.”_

  
  


✲

  
  


 

**catdadminh0:** paris is pretty...  
**catdadminh0:**...boring  
**catdadminh0:** jk it’s just pretty  
**catdadminh0:** i took so many pictures…  
**catdadminh0:** of my face kkkk

_guess that’s why it’s pretty_   ↲  
_the view is always scenic when u’r a part of it_   ↲ _  
__kkkk ٩(♡ε♡ )۶_  ↲

**catdadminh0:** han jisung are u trying to pick me up?

_depends hyung!_  ↲ _  
__is it working?_  ↲

**catdadminh0:** idiot  
**catdadminh0:** u picked up my heart a long time ago  
**catdadminh0:** OOOOOOHH

_damn hyung_  ↲  
_i was trying to be smooth_  ↲  
_u didn’t have to steal my thunder!_ ↲

**catdadminh0:** kkkk can’t help it  
**catdadminh0:** ur thunder’s naturally drawn to me  
**catdadminh0:** how r u doing???

_i miss u hyung_ ↲  
_i miss u pretty bad_ ↲

**catdadminh0:** oh boy  
**catdadminh0:** and it took u a couple of months to get to missing me huh

_i missed u the moment i dropped u off at the airport asswipe_ ↲  
_but u know i learned a lot of things abt myself while u were away_ ↲  
_hhhhhhh_ ↲

**catdadminh0:** r u saying is i should go away more  
**catdadminh0:** so that u can have more life lessons?!?!

_no hyung_ ↲  
_i’m tired of learning kk_ ↲  
_so come home soon_ ↲  
_to me!!!!!! (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡_ ↲

  
  


✲

  
  


It’s on the night before his birthday that Minho finally comes home.

Jisung isn’t really expecting him because as far he knows, Minho’s flight doesn’t come in until early the next morning. This is why he makes it a point to try and go to bed early; he figures the earlier he sleeps, the faster the morning will come.

So when around midnight, he hears shuffling outside the door, he gets a little panicked and he jumps out of bed, nervous. _There’s no way I’m dying tonight,_ he thinks to himself. _Hyung’s coming home tomorrow._

And then the door opens, and there Minho is, struggling to pull his luggage in with him. Jisung’s eye grow wide, and his jaw drops in surprise.

“Hyung—” He calls out.

Minho freezes by the door, and he’s looking _exhausted_ but there’s a smile that’s ghosting on his lips, a smile so fond and warm that it feels Jisung’s heart with all sorts of feelings.

“Hyung!” He repeats, and then he’s rushing over to Minho, and throwing his arms around him in an excited hug. “You’re home,” he mumbles, burrowing his face into the crook of Minho’s neck while he tightens his hold around him.

“I’m home,” Minho agrees, his own arms circling around the smaller male, and the sound of contentment in his voice obvious even to Jisung.

  
  
  
  


“You know what I realised, hyung?” Jisung quietly asks, once they’re both settled and cuddling in bed together. The lights are out, but the full moon is brightly shining through the window and Jisung thinks that the moonlight makes Minho look even more beautiful. Even though he knows Minho is jetlagged and in much need of rest, he’s still so giddy and buzzing with energy that he can’t help but voice stray thoughts out loud.

“Hmm?” Minho sleepily nuzzles Jisung’s shoulder. “What is it?”

“I don’t want to have you around because I need you,” Jisung explains softly, shifting around so that he can turn and face Minho. As he says them, he knows the words are true - he missed Minho so much while he was away, but at the end of the day he’s stronger for it because he knows he has a lot of other people who will be there for him. “I just want to have you with me because I want you, and you want me, and we make each other happy.”

Minho chortles softly, and his eyes flutter open so they can meet Jisung’s. “Bold of you to assume you make me happy,” he mumbles teasingly.

“Hyung,” Jisung whines, and makes a feeble attempt to untangle himself from Minho’s hold - except the older is suddenly holding him tighter, closer and Jisung can almost hear the soft laughter that Minho is holding back. “Hyung,” he repeats, and then Minho’s mouth is on his, kissing him so softly, so sweetly, so _slowly,_ that Jisung almost feels like he’s melting.

“You make me happy, okay?” Minho whispers against his lips with a quiet sigh. “But you really have to let me sleep for now.”

Jisung nods silently and snuggles closer - for now, he’ll gladly end the night perfectly like this.

"Good night, hyung," he mumbles sleepily on his way to dreamland. "Happy birthday, but thank you for the gift of you."

  
  
  
  


fin.

**Author's Note:**

> [ 5 ] I deliberately didn’t mention the name of the group Minho is touring with, so you can choose with your imagination. But obviously I was imagining BTS as I wrote this, considering Minho’s past as their back dancer.
> 
> [ 6 ] I think I’ve told most of the big stories I want to tell in this universe, but who knows, I love this playground so much that I’ll probably come back a few more times in the future, even if just with drabbles or shorter pieces. (Is there anyone you want to more about, tbh, I have headcanon for all the members haha.)
> 
> [ 6.5 ] Rather, _name a character or a pair of characters + a timestamp (whether it’s five minutes before a story, or a time frame in between particular scenes, or even ten years after a story) and i’ll try to write at least a hundred words on it._ Or just ask what happens to which ever member, LOL.
> 
> [ 7 ] SKZ COMEBACK! I really love the entire mini album tbh. Talk to me about it, or about fic, or about SKZ in general: [@rainsoundsmp3](http://twitter.com/rainsoundsmp3).
> 
> [ 8 ] Any form of feedback is greatly appreciated! ;;


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